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Thursday, November 20, 2014

A Mother's Strength

From the time we hear those words "Your Pregnant" we form an instant bond with our children even before we know their names or how they look. Then we have the pleasures of hearing that rapid tiny heart beat that lets us know this life that we created is for real. We bond with our tiny creations through food and talking to our bellies until our little ones arrive. The easy part is loving them because that love is instant and unconditional from the beginning. The hard part is watching them suffer knowing it is out of your control and in the hands of another person. All you can do is hope and pray that they will care for your child as you would.

We are tested time after time as mothers and I believe there is a strength that a mother has that is rare. To endure so much yet be able to go on through life with your head held high knowing that you are truly suffering inside takes a lot of strength. I know mothers that have buried their child yet they still must smile and go on day by day, I know mothers that have lost their child before they were able to bring them into this world yet they still must smile and go on day by day, I know mothers that have lost their child to drug addiction or alcoholism yet they still must smile and go on day by day, I know mothers that have lost their child to a life of crime so they are sitting in jail yet those mothers still must go on day by day with a smile. I know mothers that know their child is in an unhealthy relationship and as scared as she is for her child she must still smile and go on.

No mothers lost is greater than the next, no mothers pain when watching her child suffer is greater than the next yet we all must put on our capes and be the strong individuals God created us to be.

As a mother it hurts to watch my son suffer; from the time he was born it has been one thing after the next. First he almost died during delivery doctors cut him out so fast they actually cut his face, if they didn't do it fast we both would have died; when he was 5 years old he formed a lump on his stomach they ruled out hernia and after several test doctors never figured out what caused it, I was so stressed I started grinding my teeth in my sleep and in returned formed TMJ (locked jaw) I thought I was handling the stress well because I continued to work, go to school and just live life daily all while secretly suffering inside; I got tired of paying medical bills without having answers so I took him home and prayed, prayed, prayed and prayed some more and that lump went away after a few days; the following year he was diagnosed ADD, a year after that he was diagnosed with protrusion of the eye and this year he was diagnosed with a learning disability so it has become mentally exhausting and then to have to handle all this alone is truly a test of my Faith and Strength. I put on a strong face and front because I have to be strong for him and my family but when I'm all alone I cry and pray for understanding! At times I want to yell "why my baby boy" but I know that is not something a person with Faith would do; so I just wait because I know God knows what he is doing and I can't live my life based off fearing the unknown so I smile and go on day by day.

 I know there is another mother out there somewhere suffering as I am, and I know she may be feeling like giving up just as I have felt many times; but I am here to tell you "A Mother's Strength is a Gift from God". You might not understand why you and your child have to endure this pain and suffering , you might be feeling like it's just not fair but when you are have those feelings just remember "each day that you go on with a smile on your face you are inspiring another mother to do the same". As mothers we have an unbelievable strength and it's something that can't really be described in words only through actions and it is important for us to continue to share our testimonies with other mothers so that they can embrace their "Superpowers" aka "Mommy Strength" because without a Mother's Strength this world world be at a loss. So I embrace my "Mommy Strength" and will continue to fight for answers, support my children and do it all with a smile day by day.